DAYTON, Ohio — Local man Gerald Pruitt, 43, learned Tuesday that he owes PixelNest Inc. his firstborn child, the second weekend of every October, and “reasonable access to a basement,” after becoming the first person in recorded history to read a software user agreement in its entirety.

Pruitt, who had clicked “I Agree” on the photo-editing app’s terms in 2019, said he started reading out of idle curiosity while waiting for a download. “I thought I’d skim the first paragraph,” he said. “Then I hit Section 14(c), and I just kept going.”

Section 14(c) states that the user “irrevocably assigns to Licensor all right, title, and interest in any firstborn, whether existing now or arising hereafter, excluding pets, unless the pet is exceptional.” Pruitt, who has no children, said the clause still “felt like a lot to put in a font that size.”

Subsequent sections obligate him to attend an annual “Synergy Retreat” in a location to be determined, to refer to himself as “the End User” in all dealings with his own family, and to surrender “one (1) good umbrella” upon request.

By Wednesday, PixelNest’s legal department had reached out, first by email and then by a representative standing in Pruitt’s driveway. The company said it was “aware of the situation” and “deeply appreciative of his engagement,” while emphasizing that engagement was never anticipated.

“We drafted the agreement with the full expectation that no human eye would pass over it,” said Dr. Marguerite Vanterpool-Ashby, PixelNest’s Associate Vice President of Unread Documentation and Passive Consent. “It’s a bit like finding out someone has been walking through the walls of your house. Technically, the walls were never meant to be walked through.”

Vanterpool-Ashby said the firstborn clause was “aspirational boilerplate” inherited from a 2007 template and that the company has “never once collected,” though she conceded the two weekends were “fairly enforceable.”

“We simply ask that users stop at the part where it says ‘Welcome.’”

Pruitt has since read the privacy policy, the cookie policy, and an “Acceptable Use Addendum” that he says contains a haiku. He is now reportedly 70 percent through a document titled “Supplemental Terms (Supplemental).”

Consumer advocates say Pruitt’s case is unprecedented. Dr. Leopold Quench, a senior fellow at the Institute for the Study of Things Nobody Scrolls Down To, estimated that the average terms of service has been fully read by 0.0004 people, “most of them lawyers who wrote it, and several of those under duress.”

“What Mr. Pruitt has done is, frankly, reckless,” Quench said. “Knowledge is a binding commitment. Once you know you owe a basement, you owe a basement.”

At press time, Pruitt had offered to settle by deleting the app, a gesture PixelNest rejected on the grounds that Section 22 prohibits “the unilateral ending of vibes.” He has reportedly cleared the second weekend of October and is asking neighbors whether anyone has a basement he can borrow.

“I’m not mad,” Pruitt said, scrolling. “I just wish someone had told me there was a quiz at the end.”