PLEASANT VALLEY — Dennis Hartwell, 41, uttered the words “We should get lunch sometime” outside a grocery store Tuesday afternoon, a phrase he has said an estimated 1,400 times in his adult life without consequence, and was reportedly stunned when former coworker Greg Palumbo replied, “Absolutely, let me check my calendar.”

Witnesses described Hartwell’s expression as that of a man who had just heard his own name called at the DMV. “He kind of laughed, but with no sound,” said bystander Marcy Obuchowski, who was returning a cart. “Then the other guy said, ‘How’s Thursday the 14th?’ and Dennis just said, ‘Oh, wow, let me see,’ which is what you say when you are not going to see.”

Palumbo, 44, who has not spoken to Hartwell since a 2019 office retirement party, then proposed two backup dates and a restaurant “with parking.” Hartwell confirmed Wednesday that he is now “technically” attending lunch on the 21st.

“I didn’t think there was a version of this where he’d have a calendar,” Hartwell said. “I assumed we were both just being nice. That’s the whole deal. That’s the deal we all have.”

Experts say the incident represents a serious breakdown in a centuries-old social contract. “‘Sometime’ is a legally distinct unit of time that exists only in the abstract and extends indefinitely,” said Dr. Ingrid Vasterholm, senior fellow in Deferred Obligations at the Institute for Unfulfilled Intentions in Duluth. “It is not a date. It was never meant to be a date. When someone converts ‘sometime’ into ‘the 21st at 12:15,’ they have effectively annexed another person’s future.”

Vasterholm added that Palumbo’s conduct is consistent with a small but growing population of “literalists,” who believe that statements should be followed by the events they describe. “They are not malicious. They simply hear what you say.”

In the 48 hours since the exchange, Hartwell has reportedly considered feigning illness, relocating, and the possibility that Palumbo will cancel first. He has also begun researching topics of conversation, having determined that the two men share only a former stapler dispute and a mutual knowledge that the other exists.

“I said ‘sometime.’ I want that on the record. I did not say ‘a time.’”

Palumbo, reached for comment, said he was “thrilled” and had been hoping to reconnect for years, adding that he has a list of questions prepared. He declined to specify what the questions were, saying only that there are “about eleven.”

At press time, Hartwell had accepted the calendar invite, which Palumbo sent within four minutes and which included a reminder set for the day before, as well as the morning of. Hartwell was seen reflexively telling a neighbor they should “totally grab a drink,” before catching himself and quietly walking away.