NEW YORK — In what analysts are calling 'a bold experiment in honesty,' Vantage Corp CEO Richard Hale replaced himself with a language model last quarter, and the board has confirmed that absolutely nothing changed.

Frankly, it hallucinates revenue projections no more than Richard did.

'The transition was seamless,' said board chair Diane Okafor. 'It schedules meetings about meetings, describes every quarter as pivotal, and forwards articles with the note: thoughts? Frankly, it hallucinates revenue projections no more than Richard did.'

Hale, reached at his lake house, said he supports the decision and plans to spend more time with his family, 'pending their approval of the meeting invite.'