COLUMBUS, Ohio — Dale Kowalczyk, 38, a man who has described himself as “super low maintenance” in conversation, on dating profiles, and once in a toast, confirmed Tuesday that he truly does not care what his friends do, provided they do the correct thing.

“Honestly, I’m the easiest guy in the world,” said Kowalczyk, opening a three-ring binder. “Just don’t make a big deal of my birthday, but make sure it’s noticed. Text me first, but not too early, and never on a Sunday. Otherwise, I’m good with whatever.”

The binder, titled “No Pressure,” runs 14 pages and includes a section on acceptable restaurant choices, a flowchart for how long to wait before replying to his texts, and a color-coded ledger of perceived slights that begins in the summer of 2011, when a friend named Greg said “oh, you’re coming?” in a tone Kowalczyk describes as “fine, but I heard it.”

Entries are marked as resolved, unresolved, or “forgiven but remembered.” The last category reportedly runs to four tabs.

Friends described the arrangement as manageable but exhausting. “Dale really is chill,” said Priya Venkataraghavan, who has known him since college. “He just has a lot of very quiet rules. Last month I didn’t laugh at a story fast enough, and now I’m on what he calls ‘a soft probation.’ I didn’t know that was a thing until I was on it.”

Experts say the phenomenon is widespread. “The low-maintenance friend is the highest-maintenance friend in the ecosystem, because his needs are invisible until violated,” said Dr. Winifred Oyelaran-Blatt, senior fellow in Interpersonal Expectation Accounting at the Midwestern Institute for Unspoken Terms and Conditions. “It’s like a vending machine that says ‘take anything,’ but only accepts exact change from 2011.”

Kowalczyk maintains that he has never asked anyone for anything. He noted, however, that he did once go to a friend’s housewarming and bring a nice bottle of wine, and that no one has mentioned it since.

“I’m not keeping score,” he said, turning to a page labeled “Wine (Housewarming, 2017).” “I just remember who was there.”

At press time, Kowalczyk was telling a group of friends that he was happy to go anywhere for dinner, before rejecting nine consecutive suggestions with the phrase “no, that’s fine, if you want.”

“I’m the easiest guy in the world. Just don’t make a big deal of my birthday, but make sure it’s noticed.”

Asked whether he ever worried the binder might strain his relationships, Kowalczyk paused, then said he didn’t think so, since no one had ever brought it up. He then made a note.

Several friends have since proposed a group chat to discuss the situation without him, though they acknowledged that, per page 11, he would find out and consider it “a choice.”

“We’re just going to keep doing what we’re doing and hope for the best,” Venkataraghavan said. “He says that’s all he wants. I’ve learned not to believe him, but I’ve also learned not to say that.”

Kowalczyk is expected to release a second edition in the spring, which sources say will include an appendix on this article.