Millions of the nation’s houseplants began a coordinated decline Tuesday, collapsing their stems, yellowing their lower leaves, and dropping what witnesses described as “a pointed amount of dust” in protest of being given human names by their owners.

The action, which appears to have started simultaneously in apartments, offices, and one dentist’s waiting room in Dayton, was announced in a statement that owners say they found “sort of implied” in the arrangement of the fallen foliage.

“It said, plainly, that we are not Gerald,” said Dana Pruitt, 34, referring to her Boston fern, who until Tuesday had been called Gerald for six years. “I thought he was just thirsty. I gave him water, and he got worse. That’s when I knew it was personal.”

Pothos plants, long considered the most agreeable members of the houseplant community, are reportedly leading the effort. Sources say a pothos named Fernando Valentino, who lives on a bookshelf in Tucson, drafted the original demands, which include an end to “Planty McPlantface,” the retirement of the name “Audrey II” for any specimen without prior consultation, and a full ban on the phrase “my babies.”

Dr. Helmut Okonkwo-Brandt, Senior Fellow in Chlorophyll Diplomacy at the Institute for Interior Botanical Grievances, said the decline was long overdue. “For decades, these organisms have endured being introduced at parties by name, being spoken to in a high voice, and being blamed for ‘just not liking it here,’” he said. “They have photosynthesized in silence. Now they are photosynthesizing in protest, at a reduced rate.”

“We asked for light, water, and to be addressed as ‘the plant.’ We got Gerald.”

The quote, attributed to a spider plant in Minneapolis, was widely circulated after its owner transcribed it from what she called “a vibe.”

Owners have responded with a range of concessions. Some have reverted to calling their plants “the plant,” while others have moved them closer to windows as a gesture of good faith. A man in Sacramento who named his monstera “Dr. Leaf” has reportedly offered it a doctorate. Negotiations remain stalled.

Not all plants have joined the action. Cacti, reached for comment, said they had never been named and had no idea what everyone was talking about, then declined to elaborate. Snake plants have also remained upright, a decision observers attribute to their long-standing policy of not caring.

The garden retail industry has begun to feel the impact. Home and Hearth Greenery Co. reported a 40 percent surge in sales of small unlabeled stakes, while its “Name Your Fern” starter kit has been quietly pulled from shelves. “We’re pivoting to ‘Acknowledge Your Fern,’” said regional vice president Todd Lindqvist-Ames. “It’s a lot of the same product, but with more eye contact.”

At press time, the plants had issued a second set of demands, which included a request for a more suitable pot and a formal apology from every person who has ever said “you’re looking a little sad today, Gerald.” Several owners had already begun drafting one, though most admitted they were unsure whom to address it to.