COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local man Dennis Hallorhan, 41, was reported to be “in a state” Tuesday evening after an acquaintance responded to his offhand remark that they “should totally get together soon” with a specific date, a specific time, and what Hallorhan described as “a reservation. Under my name.”

The remark was made eleven days ago outside a pharmacy, in what Hallorhan characterized as “the standard way you end a conversation with someone you have no intention of ever seeing again.”

“I said it the way you say ‘take care’ or ‘let’s circle back,’” said Hallorhan, seated at his kitchen table with his phone face down. “It’s a sound. It’s not a promise. Nobody has ever once followed up on it, and that’s what makes it safe to say.”

The acquaintance, Brad Teplitz, 43, texted Tuesday at 4:12 p.m. to propose Thursday at 6:30 at a Mediterranean place with a patio. He followed up with a calendar invite, a link to the menu, and the message “Can’t wait!!”

“I just took him at his word,” Teplitz said. “I understand that’s unusual.”

Sources close to Hallorhan confirmed that he immediately convened an emergency session of his existing obligations, which met in his head for roughly four hours. A dentist appointment, a cousin’s engagement party, and an unspecified “thing” he has been citing since March were all called to testify. None could be made to conflict with Thursday.

“He tried to invent a prior commitment, but it fell apart under questioning,” said Dr. Marguerite Absalon, senior fellow at the Institute for Conditional Pleasantries and Non-Binding Verbal Gestures at the University of Lower Dunmore. “The ‘I have a thing’ defense only works if the thing already exists. You cannot retroactively build a thing. People have tried. It always looks like a thing.”

Absalon said the incident reflects a growing breakdown in the social contract. “For centuries, society ran on a delicate understanding that ‘we should get together’ means ‘goodbye,’” she said. “Then somebody started answering.”

“I said it the way you say ‘take care.’ It’s a sound. It’s not a promise.”

Hallorhan reportedly considered several responses, including a sudden illness, a sudden move to Portugal, and replying “Sounds great!” and then simply never going. He rejected the last option after realizing Teplitz had already told the restaurant about the patio.

By Wednesday morning, Hallorhan had drafted and deleted fourteen texts, the longest of which began, “Hey, so, funny story about what I said.” He ultimately replied with a thumbs-up emoji, which he called “the most binding thing I have ever done.”

Teplitz, for his part, responded with three exclamation points and a suggestion to “maybe do appetizers first.” He then asked whether Hallorhan’s wife might like to come, and whether they were free the weekend after that.

At press time, Hallorhan had begun rehearsing topics of conversation and discovered, with growing dread, that he and Teplitz have one shared interest, which is the pharmacy.